Spitting Out Teeth

With impressive speed and with a nifty twist and shimmy, you evade the alpha male's attack and catch him squarely under the jaw with a firm fist. Make a L1 SR on CON just to make sure you don't damage your knuckles.

As for Mr Bad Attitude Baboonatic, he has his molars rattled out of their sockets and has been put out to pasture for the time being. The teeth turn out to be laced together on a wire, just the right size for a necklace.

You can do any or none of the following:-

a) maim and mutilate your unconscious chum

b) open another box

c) put on the necklace

d) reach in for a few rats

e) something fiendishly cunning that I haven't thought of

Baboon's Are Dextrous Too

The baboon, which is roughly equal size and weight with you, somersaults over your head as you attempt to evade it and head off back to town to eat cheese and spend gold. Of course, you have no cheese, you have no gold and there is no known way back to town, but you can be forgiven for being somewhat delusional at this stage in your young, and quite possibly short, career as a dungeon delver.

Landing easily on its feet, the simian assailant launches itself for the small of your back, teeth gnashing as it comes.

You can:

a) try to dodge it with L1 SRs on SPD and DEX

b) spin about and swing a fierce uppercut at its jaw (same saving rolls but if you make them you roll 1d6 and get your adds on top for a clinically executed sucker punch on the ape

c) pirouette prettily, stick your tongue out with you fingers in your ears, attempting to shame the baboon into a blubbering, self-loathing wreck (you need a L2 SR on CHR for this)

d) lie down on the floor and invite your hungry companion to tuck in, perhaps sprinkling salt, pepper and other condiments over your exposed tender bits, in the time-honoured fashion of airplane passengers stranded on remote Andean mountain tops

Good luck, soldier!

What's in the Box

Moving forward cautiously, you grasp the rodent handle of the middle box, deciding that this looks to be the safest bet. The shaking from the box on the left has not stopped and the right hand box looks to be booby-trapped.

As you take a grip on the handle, the lid lifts up and you see a thickly woven net, just like those used by fighters in the arena, but there is at the same time a flash of electric blue light accompanied by the whiff of sulphur and blue cheese - in an instant you are transformed into a rat-man complete with whiskers and a tail.

You feel stronger and no less smart and it seems natural to stand on two legs, although you figure you could scurry pretty quickly on four.

The baboon smells what's going on and its eyes light up at the prospect of a larger, more nourishing meal. It stalks towards you, drooling, with arms outstretched.

What do you want to do now?

Stuck Inside the Dungeon with the Memphis Blues Again

You are standing in a cold, stone room, with only a baboon for company. The baboon is eating its way through a pile of rats at the moment and it is clearly hungry. The rats started emerging from a fist-sized hole in the wall at ankle level 5 minutes ago.

How did you get here? You touched the Ruby of Rubinos out of a greedy impulse to beat your fellow delvers in the Castle of the Cracked Cockatrice. Pity! When you were teleported away, all your weapons and provsions were left behind.

There are no doors in this room, just three boxes, the baboon and the dead rats. The boxes are all a body length in width and are made from polished wood, with runes carved on the lids, which appear to be locked with a light metal catch. The left hand box is shaking, the middle box has a small rodent skull perched on top and the right hand box has small holes under the lid on the side with the catch and you can just see metal spikes inside the holes, of which there are eight.

What do you want to do?

Finding Your Religion (That's me In The Corner)

A few weeks back, there was some talk about whether religion should appear in some form in dT&T.

Well, assuming it does, you can have your characters use this chart to see what is right for them:

Honey Pie

I need some dishes well known for including honey please...like honey baked ham...I guess Google will tell me...a little section of the solo I'm currently writing needs to test players ability to compile a menu fit for a queen with a sweet tooth.

It's called 'Wizard Went A Wooing' and it's set in a god-forsaken fetid jungle filled with novel predators. Wizards vie to win the hand of a queen. There are pathways to the altar for wizards of levels 2,3,5,7,10 and 13 (well, there will be - I'm about half way through).

When I started I thought it would be a 100 paragraph fly by night  but I'm over 30,000 words now.

Oh well, better than getting drunk and eating the television.

Dig out Momma's recipe book, folks!

Bitten by a Dog, Time for a new Release

I spent a week on the bigger but quieter Samoan island of Savai'i. Life is very, very relaxed and very contented there. If there was no electricity and no oil, I don't think they would take long to adapt - no coca cola, now that might be a problem! Friendly people, big on family values, lots of churches and too many stray dogs! The first time I have ever been bitten by one...those teeth go in a long way, that's for sure. Fingers crossed, no infection, no rabies. That might help my writing though.

On May 1st, there's a new solo out via DriveThru called 'Deathbed'. It's 28 pages long but there are lots of encounters to be played through so it's not a short stroll through the park. I think there should be plenty of replayabiliy and it has been well play-tested.

I hope you enjoy it if you take a peek between its covers...