Monday, May 7, 2012

Hold That Nose

Weebo is a pretty ordinary wizard but since the Wizard’s Guild introduced a veritable treasure trove of new 1st level spells to supplement those of the 5th Edition, he has been feeling far brighter about his chances of safely opening chests and hauling loot out of dungeons. The main obstacle to a healthy and wealthy future, as he sees it, is the task of organising his wee brain to have the best spell available at the right moment. Weebo kinda thinks if in doubt stick to the tried and trusted stuff.

Weebo doesn’t like to adventure alone so he roped in Splodger, a fairly tough little dwarf, to tag along with him as he searched the Mines of the Munted Medusa in his quest for chests to open. Weebo was a little apprehensive as he’s heard of staring severed gorgon heads inside boxes…

Splodger led the way and the two came into a chamber with a very large and mean looking giant barring the way. Weebo strode forward to cast his trusty Take That You Fiend spell and got a god feeling…he cast the spell which did no more than make the giant sneeze and he was most fortunate that Splodger grabbed him and dragged him to safety.

Weebo realised that his INT of 17, whilst impressive to Splodger and most of his mates, was not enough to phase a giant. He reckoned he was both charismatic and lucky and he was also determined to try again if he didn’t succeed first time round so he Knock-Knocked the Lock-Tighted door and got ready to give that giant what for with his Oh Go Away spell. Perhaps predictably, it failed and the giant charged mad-eyed at the wizard, who was struggling to recover from the effort of casting the spell and had, again, to be dragged to safety by Splodger, who also managed to trip the giant thus giving Weebo time to recover his wits and Lock-Tight the door again.

Weebo racked his brains for a better spell. Bingo! He remembered learning Hold That Pose and could think of no reason the spell would not work unless the giant’s WIZ rating had somehow risen since he cast his Oh Go Away. It hadn’t. The giant had calmed down but had decided Weebo was a nuisance worth devouring so he strode out to snatch up the pesky wizard when he came through the door to his chamber a third time. Weebo cast his spell. The giant’s MR of 160 would have been sufficient to pulp Weebo and Splodger in a straight fight but it only gave him WIZ of 16, hence Weebo’s spells kicking in. Lunkhead froze as Hold That Pose struck him. As he was bending over at the time, even Splodger could reach his bristly throat – which he sliced open with alacrity, causing Lunkhead to bleed rapidly to his death before the spell faded out. Yay! thought Weebo – a spell much, much better than TTYF!

Splodger and Weebo pressed on until they came across a very large hydra who gave Weebo a bad feeling when he went to cast his new favourite spell (which he noted cost less Khremm than either TTYF or OGA). What to do? Webo didn’t mid sharing – 10% of something was always better than 100% of nothing – so he and Splodger went back to town to recruit a L3 elf wizard they’d recently met. Sapleaf was fresh out of the forest but shook 16 for WIZ when the gods rolled his dice and so he had a WIZ rating of 32 and was L3! He wasn’t keen but the pair ‘convinced’ him by suggesting a lot of trees would be cut down if he didn’t accompany them. It was not sweat for the elf, of course – the hydra’s MR of 280 was impressive but Hold That Pose did the trick and Weebo was happy to help Splodger cut the heads off the monster.

They were close to the treasure now as the hydra had been placed to guard a splendid looking chest. Weebo couldn’t stop himself and prised the lock off. He wasn’t surprised when something popped out but it was only a shadow ghost and he just knew HTP would keep it in check so that his friends could drag the chest away. Fortune deserted our friend and he buffed his INT SR. Instead of casting HTP a somewhat capricious GM ruled that he had cast a little-known variation called Hold That Nose and his fingers immediately stuffed themselves deep into his nostrils. Oh well. That’s what friends are for. Sapleaf took over and all ended well.

Weebo looks forward to an easy life of chest-opening now that he has this almost sure-fire match winner in his repertoire…

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