Thursday, April 23, 2015

Home, James, and Don't Spare the Horses

Taking the pairs race first, Chester the Centaur and Gibby Honeydew spend the last leg tracking Tommy Two-Time and Buzz the Uruk with dogged determination and reach the central streets literally breathing down the neck of their rivals. Gibby finally applies the infamous axe leg to Chester's flank and the flying centaur rockets past the helpless uruk and time-twisting man to pip them at the post by a short head (Gibby's). The event is so popular that it will be included in future years alongside the main event.

Last back in the singles is Phlaag, driving with style and dignity into Pentagram Square where Lucky, who owns a haulage business, is quick to offer the ogre a senior position and will both talk and eat turkey.

Getting home ahead of the ogre and the pairs was Hrrothgar. The hairy barbarian really gave up on the race when he descended into some catacombs but he did come up with a winged helm which, although it didn't allow him to fly horse and cart, does bode well for a rather more airy approach to future dungeon delving.

Just out of the medals are Kangaroo Jack and Dalup the Dwarf. Both have been taciturn during the race, preferring to let their driving do the talking. Jack trailed Dalup by 10 minutes overnight and they spend the day in a dogfight, both killing more than fifty. The finish neck and neck, not even a retrospective 'Freeze Time' spell by Wizard Control showing any separation. They shake hands but the dwarf clearly regards Jack as something of a bounder.

The local favourite, Lucky, can't pull magic out of the bag and has to settle for a creditible third place. He won last year and is gracious in defeat, only spitting at a bunch of desicated mummies, who seem grateful and grow in stature.

The big showdown, seen earlier in the piece than the above, sees an epic see-saw battle between Phloog and Ivy. All through the suburbs, the lead changes hands after Phloog came booming out of the dawn's first rays while Ivy could not help but stay tucked up, even though she is not that sort of vampire.

In the final dash to the line, Ivy urges her vampire horse to greater exertions than Phloog can coax from his animal and the 10,000 GPs prize and the victory laurels go to the young lady. The Mayor is somewhat shy with regard to vampires and extends an offer of a place by his side at the crowning banquet to the ogre. Trade is expanding in Khaboom and although the city has a long-term contract with Lucky for high-value deliveries, Phloog is offered a contract for the new business to the east (in the direction of the ogre peninsula).

And the clocks?

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